Yesterday morning Rob said to me, "It's the first day of July". My chest tightened and I struggled to breathe. That meant this month my baby, my last and final baby, turns one! My baby turns one this month! Breathe... Someone help me figure out where time went. I didn't blink, I didn't sleep, I didn't want to miss a moment and here we are almost one year later and it's all so distant. Sigh.

It also led me to realize that I have not blogged in a long time. I'm not an avid blogger and it's quite normal for me to only write once every few months when I really want to be writing once a week at least. Time goes by too fast and little things you think you'll remember, you forget. I don't want to forget how amazing my life has been over this past year. I don't want to forget how well rounded our family has become since Raquel has entered it. 

So here is a quick update: 

Raquel took her first steps a few days after she turned 9 months but it wouldn't be another few weeks until she was officially up and on her feet as a walking baby. People always commented, "she looks too little to be walking." Well, that is because she was. It was because she was still suppose to be a baby, my baby, not some walking toddler. At least she nurses all night like a baby. I'm not sure if that was shaded with sarcasm or if I'm actually satisfied by her nursing patterns. Ultimately, I'm not in a rush to push her into childhood. I'm enjoying letting her set the pace. I missed a lot of that with Jamison because I was sucked into how our culture tells us to raise children. All the books and advice simply polluted my parenting and restricted my instincts. Jamison taught me so much, so fast. I'm glad I was able to push a lot of it out of my head and simply be his mommy based on what felt right for us. If only I could start from day one again with him but this time with the knowledge he gave me. He is the child that made me a mother. I was just as confused about my new position as my baby boy was about his but we learned together. He was stubborn, demanding, and refused to let me parent in ways that didn't nurture his little soul. Because of him I learned how to be the kind of mom I want to be. Because of him I continue to grow into the person and mother I love to be. Raquel thanks him because she didn't have to go through all that  crap. I felt confident to parent her based on my instincts from the moment labor began. 


So back to updates. Raquel's walking, J finished a semester at The Little Gym and everyone laughed while he pretended to be asleep during the medal ceremony for him and his classmates, blah blah blah. This is why I don't blog, I'm already bored with the updates. Am I bad mother? Shouldn't I enjoy writing about all the wonderful, new things my kids are doing? I'll end this a sweet pictures of my babies.