Burties = berries
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Jamison's Apology
I have never forced Jamison to say "sorry". I have, however, apologized to him when I felt it was warranted on my part or expressed that I felt sorry for kids he made cry. So, when he said "I sorry mama" for throwing tupperware lids at me tonight, I knew he meant it.
Lady Jamison
The other day Jamison said "Watch dad" Rob turned and looked at him and "watched" Jamison put on a little performance. I was unable to get the original performance on video but was able to request an encore, which I did get on video.
Rob and I tried with all our willpower not to laugh. Somehow, despite a couple of uncontrolled snorts through the nose, we managed to keep our composure. In the end we clapped and cheered him on. He was proud of his little song and dance and so were we.
One more thing. This little song and dance episode occurred right after he watched a video of Lady Gaga with me.
Rob and I tried with all our willpower not to laugh. Somehow, despite a couple of uncontrolled snorts through the nose, we managed to keep our composure. In the end we clapped and cheered him on. He was proud of his little song and dance and so were we.
One more thing. This little song and dance episode occurred right after he watched a video of Lady Gaga with me.
Friday, January 22, 2010
That's Normal
"I'm Sorry"
"Oh that sucks"
"Really, still not. Huh?"
These are the types of comments I get when people hear my 21 month old is still not sleeping through the night. In fact, these are the comments I got even when he was under a year from doctors, neighbors and friends. I wonder what they would say if I told them he only wakes up once and that one time is the time we bring him in our bed for the night.
I often find myself telling people that my child isn't sleeping through the night. Not that it is any ones business but more as a way to normalize it, not for me but for our society. Just like how I occasionally slip into conversations that I'm still nursing him too. I don't need any ones approval and I certainly don't enjoy the looks of dismay. I just put it out there as an attempt to familiarize people with the notion that toddlers can still get up at night and that is okay. I don't mind the comments so much; I can't say that I blame them. Truth is I'm sort of asking for it when I bring it up in conversation. Most people have "sleep trained" their babies by this age and that is okay too. We all parent differently. In fact to be honest I have sleep trained Jamison too. Hmmmm, perhaps I should change the word "trained" to "taught". It seems more in line with my feelings on this subject. I have taught him that night time is for sleeping and day time is for playing. I have taught him that after bath time and books comes bed. I have taught him that if he needs me (or his dad), even in the middle of the night, one of us will be there. Just as I have taught him to share. We all do things to "teach" our children. To me training is more of an attempt to force a child to fit our boundaries and teaching them is within the boundaries of their capabilities and personalities.
Anyway, the reason for this entry is today while at Jiffy Lube I began chatting with a very nice, older gentleman who worked there. He started the conversation by guessing Jamison's age, he was pretty close too. He mentioned that he had 7 children and his wife was a preschool teacher. We were talking about how hard it is but how wonderful it is to be a parent. I mentioned Jamison still gets up at night. He didn't look at me and say "I'm sorry" nor did he ponder how difficult that must be for me. He didn't even hesitate before casually saying "that's normal". WOW!! That is not the usual response. I was so happy I could have hugged him. It was as though the attempt to normalize such natural behavior was spreading! I told him I believed it to be normal too. What a breath of fresh air it was to hear this from an older man with 7 children!
When our child is ready we can teach them how to sleep with less of our assistance, we can teach them to sleep in their own bed, we can teach them to sleep without nursing and we can teach them to sleep longer stretches (if these are the things a parent wants) but for those of us who don't feel our child is ready yet shouldn't be made to feel that there is something wrong with their sleeping. I can't blame any parent for wanting a good nights sleep. It is hard and it can be a struggle. I understand this. I empathize with women who let their babies cry, I know it rips them apart inside, I know it cripples their intuitive parenting as it fights against it. I know because I tried it. I called my mom in tears after my son had been crying for so long I am embarrassed to say. My mom said "go get your baby" I got my baby and I quit fighting my instincts, I quit reading books from the experts and accepted that I am the expert on Jamison; baby, toddler and beyond! Being a parent is hard, but if we keep in mind that we know our child better than anyone else, we have instincts that tells us how to handle their personality type, and if we teach them rather than train them we don't have to battle our instincts. We get to embrace it, nurture it and listen to it as it becomes ever more clear.
I suppose I should add "That's normal" to the above list.
"Oh that sucks"
"Really, still not. Huh?"
These are the types of comments I get when people hear my 21 month old is still not sleeping through the night. In fact, these are the comments I got even when he was under a year from doctors, neighbors and friends. I wonder what they would say if I told them he only wakes up once and that one time is the time we bring him in our bed for the night.
I often find myself telling people that my child isn't sleeping through the night. Not that it is any ones business but more as a way to normalize it, not for me but for our society. Just like how I occasionally slip into conversations that I'm still nursing him too. I don't need any ones approval and I certainly don't enjoy the looks of dismay. I just put it out there as an attempt to familiarize people with the notion that toddlers can still get up at night and that is okay. I don't mind the comments so much; I can't say that I blame them. Truth is I'm sort of asking for it when I bring it up in conversation. Most people have "sleep trained" their babies by this age and that is okay too. We all parent differently. In fact to be honest I have sleep trained Jamison too. Hmmmm, perhaps I should change the word "trained" to "taught". It seems more in line with my feelings on this subject. I have taught him that night time is for sleeping and day time is for playing. I have taught him that after bath time and books comes bed. I have taught him that if he needs me (or his dad), even in the middle of the night, one of us will be there. Just as I have taught him to share. We all do things to "teach" our children. To me training is more of an attempt to force a child to fit our boundaries and teaching them is within the boundaries of their capabilities and personalities.
Anyway, the reason for this entry is today while at Jiffy Lube I began chatting with a very nice, older gentleman who worked there. He started the conversation by guessing Jamison's age, he was pretty close too. He mentioned that he had 7 children and his wife was a preschool teacher. We were talking about how hard it is but how wonderful it is to be a parent. I mentioned Jamison still gets up at night. He didn't look at me and say "I'm sorry" nor did he ponder how difficult that must be for me. He didn't even hesitate before casually saying "that's normal". WOW!! That is not the usual response. I was so happy I could have hugged him. It was as though the attempt to normalize such natural behavior was spreading! I told him I believed it to be normal too. What a breath of fresh air it was to hear this from an older man with 7 children!
When our child is ready we can teach them how to sleep with less of our assistance, we can teach them to sleep in their own bed, we can teach them to sleep without nursing and we can teach them to sleep longer stretches (if these are the things a parent wants) but for those of us who don't feel our child is ready yet shouldn't be made to feel that there is something wrong with their sleeping. I can't blame any parent for wanting a good nights sleep. It is hard and it can be a struggle. I understand this. I empathize with women who let their babies cry, I know it rips them apart inside, I know it cripples their intuitive parenting as it fights against it. I know because I tried it. I called my mom in tears after my son had been crying for so long I am embarrassed to say. My mom said "go get your baby" I got my baby and I quit fighting my instincts, I quit reading books from the experts and accepted that I am the expert on Jamison; baby, toddler and beyond! Being a parent is hard, but if we keep in mind that we know our child better than anyone else, we have instincts that tells us how to handle their personality type, and if we teach them rather than train them we don't have to battle our instincts. We get to embrace it, nurture it and listen to it as it becomes ever more clear.
I suppose I should add "That's normal" to the above list.
Monday, January 18, 2010
My Little Loner
While at Rob's aunt's house last night all the kids went downstairs to play where the toys are, including Jamison. After several minutes I go downstairs to check on him and find all the kids in the toy room with toys scattered everywhere. I look for J but I can't find him amongst the chaos. I look under the ping pong table and behind boxes...but he's nowhere to be found. Fear hits, the kind of fear that comes just before panic. I know, I know. I'm high strung. Finally I decided to look elsewhere when I heard someone on the piano. I walk around the corner to find him all by himself, not one kid in the room.
Adventures in Parenting
Why the afternoon bath? Jamison is my prodigy potty trainer. He really is. Initiating potty training on his own at the tender age of 18 months. He is still in diapers but it is rare I change a poopy one. Today as he was doing his thing on the potty I decided "why not give him some privacy" I walked into the other room for about 30 seconds before deciding to check on him. When I got back into the bathroom Jamison was chewing on something. To my horror he had poop on his hands!!! I was mortified. I stared at him in shock, wondering if I should take him to the doctors. Well, no need to. It wasn't long before he started gagging. I continued to stare feeling completely incompetent as a parent at that moment. He gagged again, I stared some more. The gagging got more and more intense, my prolonged gaze more and more helpless until it came. The vomit. Believe it or not but this vomit was very much taken with a sigh of relief. To my comfort whatever had recently been in him in the last hour was most definitely out of him. The vomiting continued but fortunately I was able to regain my composure enough to rub his back (still bare bottomed and poopy handed on the toilet) and tell him he was okay. The tears came (from Jamison) and the throwing up continued. All I could think to do was let him throw up on himself, and his poop covered hands, while I hugged his vomit covered body and told him he was okay. Once it all stopped I wiped up the poop and vomit as best I could and bath time it was. He was happy about this. And that is adventures in parenting.
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